i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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