White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This is classic penis vs brain.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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