Can Purell be used as lube?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
