Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Success! We fucked roommates!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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