I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he puts the penis in happiness.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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