do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
