just come out here and I will go home with you...
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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