I cockslap morals
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
