so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
