i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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