you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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