Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
