party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
