So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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