what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
