I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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