It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
