for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
