i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
