Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
