Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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