please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize