you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
