actually, I'm a sock model
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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