btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
