i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
