I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
