Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
