dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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