singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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