tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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