I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
