cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
