New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
