I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
