Swine flu. Run for my life!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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