we have pet lesbian snakes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to make a zoo with you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
