Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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