drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
