The maid of honor just puked.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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