Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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