i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
