It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
