Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The adults are the big ones right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
