Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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