shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
