I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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