alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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