let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
