We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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