normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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