All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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