They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
