I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
