So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize