I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
