I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
