Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize