the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
